Down

I know you would never take us there with you since it's "bad" and "negative" to visit that place.  You would probably think that it's so repugnant; even embarrassing. Not a place to share what you're thinking and expect any reply except for what you already know: there might be something wrong with you. And who wants to hear that?

Soft enough to lay your head on and imagine that it will all feel better soon. No one can find you when they don't know you're lost.  Oh, sure, you might have stepped in a hole now and then and complained of a twisted ankle, but that was years ago. Different paths for sure.  I always figured I knew where you'd be walking if I wanted to find you.

That was about a half-hour too long. I tried not to cry, but that band...those people singing in the row behind me.  They tried so hard. They were certainly trying.  They knew you'd like it and some thought you might hear them and maybe they'd even hear you!  Reading the lyrics while they sing along.  The cleanest of brainwashing.  They have to print the lyrics because nobody has heard these hymns before. I'm more accustomed to religions that have stopped trying so damn hard. Stick around and we'll talk about that right after the song. 

They were your new family, this bunch of singers.  Not like your old family.  We're talkers.  As different as sprinklers and dippers, if you know what I mean. They sang about you and now we're going to talk about you.  Not much different from before, really.  We always talked because we loved you and I guess we still do. Don't worry, I think we all know not to ask questions.  So we'll just talk. 

I walked into the church elevator and pressed the bottom button.  I figured there might be and "H" on it, but it said "Classrooms." Indoctrination centers! Get 'em while they're young!

Potato bugs and little round-headed red-heads from Oklahoma screaming, "My baby, my baby, my baby" in between the projectile vomiting brought on by feelings of abandonment.  It was funny, remember?  Tater Bug, speaking fecally all over the trailer floor while Moms and Dads went out dancing and left her with those strange cousins.  They don't remember it.  It's just me repeating your words and realizing that nobody else at the table had heard those words before.  Funny babies.  Sadly left behind and I remember you.

You stopped laughing and sang to Jesus and he heard you. I thought he was probably trying to tell you something and you probably wouldn't shut up long enough to hear what he was probably telling you. But that was just your way. You knew what he was going to tell you anyway.

Your mom said you disappeared in a foreign land and were being held by the police. You didn't want anyone to find you so you gave them an assumed name. You smeared charcoal on your face and fell and broke your elbow and you could make a stranger laugh till they thought you were an old friend. I bet it won't be long till she forgets your name.